sábado, 28 de março de 2009

Os toques que o bebê dá

A vida inteira devaneei sobre as sensações das mulheres grávidas com relação ao progresso da gravidez... Sentir a barriga crescer e perceber e conviver com essa mudança do corpo era algo que me intrigava. Queria saber exatamente qual era a sensação de ter crescendo dentro de mim um outro ser humano. Uma miniatura de pessoa com vida e vontades próprias.

Outra sensação que me deixava bastante curiosa é o fato do bebe se mexer dentro da barriga e de poder sentir os seus movimentos... Essa relação de "um dentro do outro".

A ansiedade para que o bebê mexesse logo me tomava e as tentativas em decifrar essas sensações também.

Senti o bebê pelas primeiras vezes de maneira muito sutil no final do terceiro mês... Era uma breve tremedeira. Considero que o que eu sentia era a gravidez e não o bebê.... Ficava aflita pensando se aquilo era normal e se era daquele jeito mesmo... Confesso que essa sensação "do bebê mexer", assim, tão indiscriminadamente e de maneira tão próxima aos gases me decepcionou e eu pensava: "mas é isso?"

Em meados do quarto mês passei a ter com um pouco mais de frequência (tipo umas duas ou três vezes na semana) a mesma sensação um pouquinho mais lenta, mas, mesmo assim, ainda rápida demais...Quando a gente peercebe já acabou e não tem "replay". É a mesma sensação de ver um gol no estádio de futebol...Poxa vida... Na tv é tão mais fácil entender a dinâmica do esporte com narração embalada pelo crecimento do quase gol e com direito a ver de novo, e devagar, os melhores lances...rsrsrs.

Para essa sensação, para esse tipo de mexida, a Lelah me deu a explicação mais gostosa e convincente: é como se a barriga fosse um grande aquário e tivesse passado ali na frente um peixinho. era isso o que eu sentia: passou um peixinho.
Ainda estava insatisfeita com a sensação... Queria sentir um bebê e não um peixinho e me perguntava a todo instante: "mas é só isso?".

Nessa última semana tive a resposta. Não era só aquilo pois o tipo de toque dentro da barriga mudou... Agora é algo bem mais físico, que vem de algo talvez maior que um peixinho. Mas continua rápido e pontual. Só que agora não passa rápido e vai embora... Agora faz...TUM!

Acredito que essa sensação e esses toques ainda serão aperfeiçoados e tornar-se-ão mais perceptíveis e confesso que não vejo a hora de chegar no mesmo ponto daquelas mulheres que dizem: "aqui está o cotovelo, aqui está o pé, ou ainda... nossa...tomei um chute na costela essa noite que até acordei!" eheh

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